The Happyness of Pursuit

Aditi wasn't the prettiest in our class. She couldn't be. Why else would I be the first one to have a crush on her, when there were a couple of other girls who had half a dozen guys swooning over them. But she certainly had something about her. If it was the way she giggled at the silliest of jokes, or the way she could be so dumb sometimes that it was almost cute, or the way she got so tongue tied when asked questions by any teacher, I wouldn't know. I was only thirteen. All I knew was that I was in love with her, and head over heels.

The first advice that I can give a teenager in love is to keep his feelings to himself, unless of course, if he wants to lose whatever little chance he has of talking to that girl. And I speak from experience. Yes, I told my best friend. And he told his. This continued till the next best friend happened to be Aditi herself. We stopped talking. What other option did we have, to save ourselves from the misery of brutal teenage teasing! Yes, and another piece of advice to all those friends who think that they are acting as 'catalysts of love' between two people, by indulging in such meaningless gibing, it would instead help if you didn't.

Aditi, obviously, didn't reciprocate my feelings. Or else, the word would have got around, just like it did the first time. Here I was, only thirteen, and already feeling the pangs of rejection. Maybe if I had a chance of interacting with her for a longer time, I would have worked my charm on her. But that's only speculation. The truth was that I spent the next five years still loving her, and the love only got stronger with time. This was not because she was getting prettier or cuter by the day. When you do not get a thing that you want, you want it even more. This vicious cycle continues. This is how my harmless crush took the form of a full blown epic.

My tenacity yielded results, though only five years later. From sources close to her, I was informed that Aditi would acknowledge in the affirmative, if I proposed my love to her. So I did. And so did she, accept it, just as her friends had so subtly hinted. Obviously there was no explanation for this sudden turn of feelings. Why would someone who had no feelings whatsoever for four whole years, suddenly start feeling something for a person! The possibility that she yielded more out of pity than out of genuine love, crossed my mind often. However I didn't care the least bit, as long as I had a chance to hang out with her. I had spent the last five years cherishing whatever few times I got to speak to her, thrice out of academic compulsion, because she was my project partner, and four other times on her birthday each. Why on earth would I miss this god sent opportunity, brooding over 'possibilities'!

We were hardly a couple. We never did things that couples do. We never said the 'three words' to each other. But we enjoyed each other's company. I might sound presumptuous when I speak for her too, but from the way she laughed at my jokes, at least I would like to believe so. More than a couple, we were committed friends. There was only one month before school ended and we had to make up for lost time. We spent whatever free time we had, talking, and getting to know each other better. It was almost as if we were officially a couple, so that we could be normal friends to each other, mostly it is the other way round.

Even now, seven years later, when I think of the single biggest achievement of my life, getting Aditi to say 'Yes', would be it. The five years of relentless pursuit, the sadistic pleasure that I derived from it, and finally the happiness when she relented, made this an experience of a lifetime. When most of the guys my age were busy chasing one girl after another, facing one rejection one after another, I stuck to one. I felt a certain sense of integrity, a feeling of being true to myself, this not meaning that the other guys were depraved or something. Maybe I didn't have the innocent impulsiveness that a teenager my age is expected to have, but I did realize the 'The Happyness of Pursuit'.